Fall, the final month of 40, and why I really hate my teeth.

Went out for a run to clear my head tonight and it felt like fall.  It also struck me that, unless I leave work early this is the end of long runs on week nights.  Finished at 7pm and the bike trail took on a VERY creepy darkness.

It was so beautiful though how quiet and still the woods were.

I am now less than 3 weeks to being 41 and looking back 40 has been pretty damn AWESOME!

Right now I am stronger than I have been in years, love my job, my child, my family and friends.

Here is where I have to say "Ugh".

The joy if your 40's is that it seems all your filings from your childhood turn to crap.  Now in process of 2nd root canal.

(This s where I will also learn how many of my medical professional friends are reading this blog and still paying attention.)

Apparently the 1st round of antibiotics and pupal debridement did not kill said abcess.  Last few days the pain has been coming back and this fun dizziness.  So, called and changed to Clindamycin.

Decided to run today anyway.

The more I ran, the worse the dizziness seemed.  Kicked back to a brisk walk and as long as I breathed slowly and with my mouth closed all was good.  The cold air would cause the world to tilt a bit on it's axis.  If I tried to look to the left without moving my head and it was like the Maxtrix.  BUT I NEEDED TO CLEAR MY HEAD AND THE TRAIL WAS SO PEACEFUL.  So I pushed past mile 1.  Well.....  By mile 2 it got worse....  As long as I looked straight ahead....  Fine.. Eyes to the side.. HAHA.....the world got a little sideways.

The fat ME and the nurse ME were recommending stopping and calling someone to come get me.  The "I really want to be a skinnier, runner" ME, she said "it's ok, just maybe don't run at all, walk faster and look straight ahead".  Made it home, pace was slower than my normal (19/mile vs 16/mile) but I didn't fall over or pass out cold.  Knees buckled a few times.

Guess I will hold off running until the new antibiotics kick in!  Think I will tell the trainer no jumping either tomorrow since it seems jumping/jostling makes it so much worse!

We ROCKED CHICAGO Ladies!

Wow!  I have now completed 24.8 walking/running miles and 20 miles on a bike during organized events.... Today was my longest Run/walk....  The 10k Chicago Women Rock.  I was all over the map emotionally on this one going in-excited, nervous, terrified...  Yes, nervous and terrified...  Self-doubt was creeping in...  Did I bite off more than I can chew .  Crazy dreams and very little sleep last night....  But felt ready this morning.  Then we started....  Was good the first mile.  Something happened mile 2....   It felt like I had been running forever and it had only been 29 minutes?  I nearly started crying, nearly stopped.  I have never felt so overwhelmed.  4.2 MORE miles.  How can I do it?  

Ever have a song come on and it just hits a chord, pushes you on, makes you think think "I got this".  In comes the lyrics "Cause sometimes you feel tired, feel weak, and when you feel weak, you feel like you wanna just give up.  But you gotta search within you, you gotta find that inner strength, and just pull that shit out of you and get that motivation to not give up, and not be a quitter, no matter how bad you just wanna fall flat on your face and collapse......  Go left, go left, go left, right, left......."  Now...  This is NOT part if my playlist.  I ended up in my son's workout playlist for this run.  Eminem saved my run......  My son's playlist was great.....  Every time I thought "WTH was I thinking?" And the song I needed came on!  Thinking I need him to redo mine.  The Eminem song came one three times today....  And each time, the lyrics kept my head where it needed to be.  Music is such an important part of my life and I truly think it can make or break a day.

And then there is just something about running along the lakefront.  The temp was low 60's, a breeze, lapping waves on the lake and sail boats dotting the skyline.  Somewhere around the last mile or so, it was so beautiful I wished I could stop to take a picture.  But I knew if I stopped or paused.....   I might not find the rhythm again.

And no, I am not loopy on a runner's high ok....  Are you still reading this, here is the ugly.

A-hole bikers.  It was posted at every entry to the lakefront path about the event, that it will be congested and expect it.  Mile 2-4 is the up and back.  It is CROWDED.  To the lady who was trying to fly through at about 20 miles an hour and screaming at us "get the hell to the sides, some of us are trying to get through here"...   You lady are why we runners and walkers think riders are a-holes.

Running + need to pee = horrid side stitch.....  Thank heaven for the mile 2.5 portapotties!

My right shoe....  Around mile 4....  The inside of my shoe developed a weird farty feeling...  And like the cushioning was off.  Lemons and lemonade...  There is a dirt shoulder to the path-  took to running on that and I wish I would have tried that much earlier!  So much nicer on the knees and hips.  

Did not drink enough pre-race apparently and the breeze made for AWESOME shivers the 2 miles, especially in the shade.  Had two cute little old ladies who were doing the half tell me "Deary, you are shivering and not sweating......   You need to drink more or slow down". So I drank as much as I could without puking......  Which is not much..  But did drink a cup at each water station plus what I carried....

All said....  I CANT WAIT TIL NEXT YEAR!  Totally doing the 5 mile Schaumburg Turkey Trot!  I got this!

And here are my Thank You shout outs-

Dani Vitale- for driving, for keeping me calm and enduring my prattling, for keeping me believing I can do this.

To AJ and Ian at XSport- not just for the training but for making me enjoy going to the gym.....

To Anke Smith and Kim Miller-  for being great friends and cheerleaders.

To my kid for not hating the Saturday mornings that I abandon him to run.

And, to the wonder of Spotify/iTunes/the awesome music industry because if I had to run without music....  I could not run!

Crazy Days Ahead......

Gosh, it has been over a month since my last blog post.  Can't believe it.  Had someone send me a message saying they missed seeing them.

What have I been up to that I  didn't post?  Not really much of anything particular.  In fact, more like not much of anything.  Hit a funk and it then turned to a moody rut.  Not really the Mind Place I like to blog from.  Oh well, maybe getting it out will help get me out of the rut.

Feel frustrated these days.  Sharing it with all of you so that if you are having a funk too, maybe you will feel a bit less alone and not give up or give in to the funk.

The intellectual part of me understands the process and why the body reacts how it does and to "not get hung up on numbers" but the emotional part.......is struggling.  I hate writing these types of posts as it feels like I am whining.  Well.......  I suppose I am.

Upsides of all my work:
-I am so much stronger
-I am so much more confident
-Have achieved so much more than I ever thought I could
-I LOVE WORKING OUT WITH A PERSONAL TRAINER

Downsides
-The scale is NOT going where I wanted it to be.  I will not hit my weight loss goal for my birthday and I have to let it go.
-While many parts of me are shrinking and everything is more toned, my damn thighs WILL NOT SHRINK
-I have never been so tired of thinking about what I eat and the act of eating itself.
-There never seems to be enough money or time to balance everything I want to do
-Stress is NOT my friend, nor is insomnia

I could make excuses.... I had a cold, my job has become a bit crazy, it is getting dark so early and making me sad........blah, blah, blah.  Time to put up or shut up right?


SO....... the lessons for this month and what is the new plan:

1.  I will now always wait until the morning AFTER  rest day to do weight and measurements.  This month I decided to do it after 6 days of hardwork outs and a bout of the DOMS.  This made me nearly throw in the towel.  It made me cry.  It made the trainer and the fitness manager at the gym need to talk me off the ledge.  It made me feel like I failed.


2.  Tried running and walking for a month to see if I could increase my distance/speed.  Will NEVER be a runner.  Struggled a lot and may have been part of the funk that I thought I should strive to be a runner.  I am not.  I walk, I run, I jog......sometimes I do them all in a single outing.  Running burns more calories but just is not me.  My overall time..... IT IS THE SAME no matter what once I get out past 3 miles.  So, I am following my whimsy.  If I feel like running, I will but I do short little bursts (think a bunch of sprints in the middle of a very long walk).  If I want to walk it all, so be it.  The speed is not what it should be about.  It should be about getting out there and clearing my mind.  Connecting with my body.  Not a "Minutes/Mile" or "Calories Burned".  So.... no more "I have to crack and stay below a 15 minute mile".  It made me HATE going out.


3.  Realized that just because I will not hit the weight loss goal I wanted by my birthday, I have accomplished so much more.  The number on the scale cannot define my failure or my success.  Nor can a measurement.  Success is that I have made changes that will help  me live a longer and health life.

4.  I have to embrace/get back to the FULL workout plan.  3 days per week doesn't cut it.  I need the Cardio 3x/wk and Resistance 3x/wk to keep my body going.  It makes such a difference with my sleep, my mood, my stress level.

5.  With the kid back in school and the chaos of work, I need to keep things simple.  Clean the whole house over the weekend.  Prep and prepare as much as I can on the weekends too.  MAKE A MEAL PLAN FOR THE WHOLE WEEK.

6.  Make time to read too.  This sounds funny but it really is something that is not just a "I like to do it" but instead  NEED to do it.  There is something that reading does for my brain that nothing else does.

7.  Trust in my trainer.  He has gotten me great results and he has assured me the plateau is a temporary thing.  Back to basics he says.  Eat well, train hard, get your water and sleep in and the body will do what it should.  Right now....it is hard to believe it as the scale has not moved for almost 3 weeks  but as he said, it has also not gone up and it WILL drop.

8.  Making the stairs my friend.  Every work day, at least once, I do the stairs.  Down 11 flights, walk a mile, then back up all 11.  NO excuses.  It SUCKS right now.  It will get better.


Well, since it is on the internet, it must be true right?  So I have no choice than to DO IT!!!!

What is on the upcoming agenda?

9-21-13 Women Rock 10k

9-29-13 HeartWalk Chicago 5k

10-13-13 Pumpkin Stampede 5k

10-20-13 Monster Dash 5k AND I TURN 41!!!!!!