Half Way Gone!

Ok, it has been a crazy last couple months with the weather, holidays, illness and injury.

Needed to do a little "reality check" and realize I am only about 1/2 way to where I want to be.  Need to refocus and start sticking to my plan.

Depending on where I start "counting from" I am down about 40 pounds.

I have about 40-50 I want to lose.

(The crazy ass BMI chart says I have 80 more btw.  I think that is a little insane........)

Restocked the fridge, hit the gym, did measurements and weights.

And then there is adjusting the picture in my head.... What does the changes I made look like?  Have I made progress since the fall?  The scale and the tape measure are not showing much movement since December.

So, I thought, well, let's look at the pics from my fall runs and what I look like now.  I was looking through pictures and realized that most of the ones I have of me, I either am still hiding in clothes that don't fit or the clothes don't really show the true picture.

Case in point, yesterday I was so excited- wore a VERY fitted pair of dress pants/leggings to work and a sweater.  Felt great, got tons of compliments.  Tried to take a picture for the next "Transformation Tuesday" someone runs.  GOT VERY FRUSTRATED VERY FAST.

Now, I know we are our biggest critics and see the thing that we feel is our worst spot.  Everyone has that part they hate.  Some gals it is their butt, some their legs.  ME.....I HATE MY CHEST.  Seriously.

So, after about 20 tries, this is the "best" of last night's shots.  (Yes, my hair is a mess......)

Yes, my legs look good but my whole upper body looks HUGE.  I have hate/hate relationship w/ my chest.  The poor trainer today got to listen to me whine (again) about it.

SO....  FINE- decided to do a true "Biggest Loser" type shot- pair of shorts and my sports bra. (Yeah, this was after the gym so my hair looks even worse and no, the bra does not match my shorts....)

I feel a bit better about this one.  Yes, I still have a long way to go but dammit, you can see I have a waist!  There is the HINT of ab definition under the there.

This frustrates me to no end.  I have made significant changes in how I look but unless I wear clothes that are VERY clingy to my chest or go half naked, it is hiding under the shadow of my chest.

(And for those who say "oh, as you lose weight they will shrink"...yeah, 40 pounds gone, NO CHANGE IN CUP SIZE....Seems once an H, always an H)

I am not going to let it get me down though.  It just means that whenever I want a true picture of what I look like, my transformation etc, I have to be willing to put on the super tight t's or get down to sports bra and shorts.

But I am Half Way Gone!  For that I am proud!  Now to get the rest of the way, keep training for my SuperSpartan, and continue to try to love this new body I am working on.  Big boobs* and all for now.




(*for the record-- once I am a low as I plan to go and maintain that weight for 6 months, I will likely contemplate a reduction because dammit, they just ARE TOO DAMN BIG!)