Knowing oneself and knowing one's limits

So, it took me a few days to get my head "right" so I could make a decision and then update this blog.

Monday I had the chance to go out to DirtRunner for a "training day" on the course where my Chicago Spartan will be at the end of the month.  The training course is a portion of the Super Course.  It was my "reality check" and I needed it.

I am 100x stronger than I was 18 months ago when I started this.  I know this in my heart and head.  HOWEVER, that course is BRUTAL.  Tons of deep ravines you must traverse, tons of obstacles that require upper body strength.

I honestly came quite near to sitting down in the middle of the course when I saw yet another ravine ahead.  It was about 4 of them back to back.  So steep you pretty much slide down on your backside and then have to climb back out.  It nearly broke me.

But I finished it.  Had to skip a few obstacles because I just couldn't pull myself over (and was not going to make the 1 guy there boost me) or because my head was not there.......  At the end, there was a Rope Swing to Cargo Net.  I knew my arms were cashed and I would not make it.  An awesome young lady who was just KILLING IT on the course told me "Oh, this is the best part- just swing out like Tarzan and drop on it.  The water is AMAZING".  So I did it.  I let go of my fear of how high it was and the fact that I had NEVER swung and out I went.  It was the most glorious drop to that water.  (And then she helped me get out of the water as it is quite a deep pit.)

Probably this is my favorite part of OCR- no matter what your level of fitness or what you look like, everyone is there cheering each other on and helping you get over that next obstacle...physically or mentally.

So.... knowing that the course was only HALF of what to expect of a Super I had some thinking to do.  I knew deep in my heart, I would never be able to finish a Super.  I have the option of dropping to a Sprint or deferring to next year completely.

It weighed heavy on me as I really, really wanted that SUPER!  But is it worth hurting myself or someone else who is trying to help me?  No, probably not.  Could I do the Sprint?  Yes, I think I can.

So........ I downgraded my race.  Dropped the Sprint.  Next year--- I WILL DO THE SUPER!
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